


Staytober.

by suyoo



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, basically just a bunch of one-shots for when i can be bothered to write somethng, felix deserves the world btw???, i probably wont proofread. whoops, skz i care u, stream backdoor btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26758033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suyoo/pseuds/suyoo
Summary: a bunch of one-shots based on Staytober/a bunch of one-shots based on the titles of some of Stray Kids' discography for every other day of October, or something similar.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Stray Kids Ensemble/Everyone
Kudos: 18





	1. ex. (chanlix)

**Author's Note:**

> major tw for slight transphobia in the middle !!! changbin is a dick. trans!felix.

“changbin?” 

silence.

felix fiddled with his fingers, eyes darting around. the silence was deafening, and he regretted even opening his mouth. why had he even come here in the first place? he knew that changbin was busy – he always was. and yet, here he was, in changbin’s office unannounced. changbin stared back at his boyfriend with anxious eyes, both of them too scared to break the silence. the tension was so thick and heavy, neither of them knew what exactly to do. felix debated whether or not to reach for his hand, but decided against it when he saw what he assumed to be anger in changbin's eyes. scared eyes darted around the room, trying to focus on something – anything – to get his mind off of what was happening as of right now. 

if felix had one wish, it’d be to go back to half an hour ago when he was back in his bed, crying over discovering something that could possibly destroy his and changbin’s relationship.

“changbin, please, i-”

changbin raised his head from the floor and stared into felix’s dark pupils. “what do you want? you know i’m busy, can it not wait?”

gulping, felix breathed in deeply. trying his best to gather his words, he sighed again and he tried to make sure that his breath wasn’t shaky when he said the next words. “p-please don’t be angry at me.” 

“spit it out, i don’t fucking have all day.”

fear. fear was the only thing that was present in felix’s body at this moment in time. fear was the only thing that was present in felix’s body at this moment in time, and he was sure that it wouldn’t go away any time soon. 

felix knew that as soon as these words left his mouth, there was no going back. this would, for sure, end whatever changbin and felix were – that was no hesitation about it. it wasn’t that changbin was ever a bad boyfriend, not in the slightest, he just wasn’t very open-minded about many things and something as big as this wouldn’t be something that they could work around. it wasn’t something small like felix’s favourite food changing, or something else like him having an affair. it wasn’t something they could patch up immediately, as much as felix didn’t want to lose changbin over it.

“can we forget it? pretend i never brought it up.” felix reluctantly sighed, getting up from where he was sat.

changbin’s eyes pierced felix’s own, a look of genuine anger present in them no matter how felix tried to convince himself otherwise. “no, you’ve brought it up now, there’s no going back. just tell me for fuck’s sake!” changbin yelled angrily. felix backed up quickly, afraid it would turn into something more dangerous. 

with a deep breath, felix looked down at the floor, trying his best to avoid eye contact with changbin. “fine. fine! you win. i’m trans.”

silence.

“changbin?”

“get the fuck out.” 

-

it had been a few months since that occurrence happened, and felix was slowly beginning to feel happy again. he wouldn’t say that he was always happy, because that wasn’t possible, but he was as happy as he could be. he had completely blocked changbin everywhere – hadn’t spoken to him since the incident, and he was now surrounded with a bunch of people that supported him for who he really was – lee felix. 

“how are you feeling, love?” a honey-like voice called from the other room, and felix felt another smile appearing on his face. he loved hearing that voice – it was really the only one that made him feel like home wherever he was. that was something he never really had with changbin – whenever they went out together, felix was always in fear that something was going to go wrong, or that changbin was going to get angry at him for the smallest thing, or that a fight was going to break out between them. felix genuinely didn’t know when it stopped being loved and started becoming fear with changbin.

“y-yeah, sorry, ‘m alright.” felix flashed his roommate a quick smile as the latter sat down next to him.

“i mean in general. i know that changbin guy was a dickhead, but…” he trailed off, sighing and looking away. “i’ll always be here for you, little man. you’ll always have me. i know we’ve only known each other for a little while, but i really trust you, and – if you want me to be – i’ll be there with you every step of your transition. you’ll be okay, i promise you that. you’ll get out of this as the strongest and best man alive, and we’ll all love you regardless of your name, your pronouns or however you present yourself, okay? you’re incredible, felix, and i mean that. you coming out to us as trans has never changed a thing to any of us. you’re still our amazing little buddy, and that’ll never change. unless you’re an absolute dick to us, but i don’t see that happening. we’ll always be here for you, okay? we love you,” he said, tenderness rooted in his voice as he pulled felix into a hug, rubbing his back and he felt tears staining his back. “i mean it, you’re an incredible young man and i’m so proud of you.” he pulled back, making brief eye-contact with felix to make sure he was able to dry his tears, admiring how beautiful felix’s freckles look. “i’m so glad i get to watch you grow into the handsome young man you’ve always been. we’re all so, so proud of you, lixie. we always will be. you’re amazing.”

unable to stop his tears, felix just shook his head as he continued trembling in chan’s embrace. “i-i-” noticing how felix was unable to articulate what he wanted to say, chan shushed him softly and rubbed his back, rocking him back and forth.

“it’s okay, you’ll be okay. you’re gonna be okay, lix, i promise you. he can’t hurt you anymore. you’re safe with me.” deep down, chan knew that they had only known each other for a few months or so, but they genuinely did consider each other as brothers. they considered each other soulmates – they were meant to mean and they were destined to be together. sure, they mightn’t have feelings for each other – but soulmates don’t always have to be romantic. sometimes a soulmate is just someone that you know better than anyone else.

chan and felix were sure that they knew each other in another life. they were too similar to each other and when they had first met, they hit things off immediately. felix wasn’t the best at communicating with people, but it felt natural with chan. it always did – despite having never met him before. they instantly became almost like best friends that had been there for each other forever. they knew that wasn’t the case, but they didn’t care.

they were soulmates, and that was that.

changbin wasn’t in felix’s life anymore, and they couldn’t ask for anything more than that.

-

well, felix could’ve.

he just wanted a peaceful day at the supermarket, and yet here changbin was, sporting the biggest shit-eating grin felix had ever seen somebody wear proudly.

felix had gotten engaged to chan just a week before, and it’d been a year or so since the speech chan gave him. he was sure that their engagement news was really big, and felix wasn’t going to get his hopes up and assume that changbin hadn’t seen it.

with a sinister smile on his face, changbin stepped a little closer to whisper into felix’s ear. “you’ll never be a real man. i knew you when you identified as female, therefore that’s all you’ll ever be to me. a woman pretending to be a man. you’re nothing more than that. i feel so bad for chan.”

“s-stop it. p-please just leave me alone.” felix whispered, attempting to walk backwards. he didn’t want to deal with changbin whatsoever, let alone today when he wasn’t having a good day to begin with.

“why? are you scared of me? are you threatened by the fact that i could leak your deadname to everyone, hm?”

“fuck you.” felix whimpered back, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he balled his fists. he hated getting angry at people, and he rarely did it, but changbin always seemed to become worse over time. “what the fuck is your problem? why are you so angry that i’m finally happy with someone, changbin? please just leave me the fuck alone.”

“my problem?” changbin laughed, the mere thought of being in the wrong sounding obscure to him. “what’s your problem? you’re the one telling everyone a man, when you’re not. you’re just lying to chan – you’re lying to everyone! you’re the fucking weirdo here.” changbin yelled, felix’s deadname leaving his lips as he shoved him backwards, almost making felix fall over and whack his head on something just behind them. “you’re pathetic.” changbin spat, kicking him lightly as he walked away, leaving felix on the floor.

ignoring the pain in his ankle, felix tried his best to get up from the floor. he grabbed his phone from his back pocket and attempted to call chan, the pain obvious in his voice.

“are you okay, babyboy? you never call me at this time.”

“i’m scared, chan. p-please help.” replied felix, trying his best to conceal the wounds that changbin had managed to make.

“what’s wrong?” the pace in chan’s voice had sped up considerably.

“it’s changbin, he-”

the call disconnected.

-

“i just want him to leave me alone.” felix sighed when they’d gotten back home. “i don’t know what else i’m meant to do about him, channie. it’s like his one job on earth is to fucking terrorise me every single day.”

“i’m so sorry, lixie. you don’t deserve any of this,” chan frowned, rubbing his hand on felix’s thigh. “he’s fucking pathetic. you’re an incredible young man, and the only person that doesn’t see that is him. and really, who gives a fuck about what seo changbin thinks, hm? he’s a pathetic excuse for a man, and he’s jealous that you’re more manly than he’ll ever be. you’re amazing, and i’m so proud of you,” pulling him into a hug, chan lightly kissed the top of felix’s head. “my handsome little man, hm? i love you so, so much. i’ll try my best to make sure changbin won’t hurt you anymore. i’m sorry i didn’t keep the promise earlier, but i mean it this time. you’re going to be okay, lixie. you’re safe with me.”

silence.

felix fiddled with his fingers, eyes darting around. he didn’t want to cry infront of chan – not again. he’s done it so many times, and he swears that chan is getting tired of his shit.

“it’s okay to cry, lixie.” muttered chan, almost as though he could read the younger’s mind. “it’s always okay. your feelings are valid, and they’re important.”  
and so, felix truly let go. he cried more than he’d ever cried before that night, sobbing into chan’s arms and telling him how grateful he was for him, and how much he loved him, and how he’ll never let him go.

chan kissed his head once more, feeling that he’d fallen asleep in his arms. he hugged him tighter than ever before. he knew that felix was asleep already, but he knew that he could feel it. he needed felix to know that he truly loved and cared about him more than anything else, and he swore that he’d go above and beyond to prove that.

they were soulmates, after all, and chan was destined to prove that no matter what, felix would always be perfect to him. it was chan’s job to protect felix, and to make sure he could live as the man he truly was. and he was going to do just that – he was going to make sure that felix was able to get everything done. he was going to make sure that felix was able to live as the incredible young man he always had been – and most importantly of all, he was going to make sure that changbin couldn’t go anywhere near him.

“i love you, so, so much.” chan whispered, pulling him closer. “you’re the best boyfriend i could ever ask for.”

and despite being fast asleep, chan swore that he noticed a small, faint smile appear on felix’s face.


	2. blueprint. (chanlix_

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan and felix go on a date together, and chan realises that felix is literally the blueprint for a perfect soulmate.

felix never considered himself to have a ‘type’ of boyfriend that he wanted – he always told people that he would just date whoever as long as they seemed like a nice enough person. that was something he always stuck to – whenever his friends, usually hyunjin and minho, would try and set him up. they would always ask if there was someone specific that he was after, and while there was, felix would never admit that. he had been falling in love with someone from his english class for the past few months and yet never mentioned it to anyone. he knew that none of them were homophobic – hell, hyunjin and minho were literally dating – but he just was not ready to let anyone know yet. especially since everybody always made jokes about that very person being the ‘straight’ friend in their group. it hurt, yes, but he could not bring it up. he knew they were joking – or, at least, he hoped they were joking.

-

“lix? are you sure there isn’t someone you want? you’ve been single for a while after he left you,” minho asks softly, looking over at hyunjin. “i’m worried about him, hyuni.”

“guys, really, i’m fine,” felix says, giving them both a soft smile. “really. i promise. i don’t need anyone. it’s fine being single, really. i don’t care.” he tells them, and while he’s lying, they both seem to buy it and they just shrug and continue looking at each other.

“we’re just worried about you.” is all hyunjin says. he doesn’t want to overstep, because he knows that felix has boundaries as much as he cares about him, “we want you to be okay, whether you’re single or with someone. and we want to do all that we can to help.” 

felix giggles softly. “thanks, guys, really. i really do appreciate it, but it’s fine. sure, i get lonely sometimes, but it’s not massive, yknow?”

minho frowns. “it might be though. as i said before, we’re both concerned.”

“i’m fine, trust me.”

minho sighs, knowing that they won’t get anywhere since felix was known to be stubborn. “okay, we’ll drop it. but we’re here for you.”

felix nods.

-

felix sighs, narrowing his eyes at minho, who was wearing a massive shit-eating grin on his face. “what are you up now, lino?” he asks, playing with his fingers. they were both stood outside of a popular restaurant in seoul, and minho hadn’t told felix the purpose of it. “this isn’t another one of your jokes, right?”

“no,” minho says between giggles. felix just stares back at him, not finding the situation funny. “okay, fine, you got me! hyuni and i set you up on a date! it’s a blind one. the guy should be here soon.” 

“what?” felix asks, eyes widening. “minho, what the fuck?”

“what? hyuni and i just want you to be happy,” minho replies innocently, with a frown on his face. “please don’t be angry at us,”

“i’m not angry, just…why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve prepared something,” he sighs. 

“look, you’ll be fine. i think he’s gonna be here soon, so i’ll get going, but you’ll do well! call me if anything goes wrong,”

felix rolls his eyes, watching as minho leaves, presumably to go back to hyunjin. he looks around the restaurant, wondering whether there was something to take his mind off of whatever was going to happen when this other guy showed up. what on earth was he supposed to do? his pick-up lines weren’t the best, and he hadn’t been in a relationship in a few years, so he definitely wasn’t the best person to be going on a date with. he had no experience anymore! the only relationships – that he knew were happy – he’d seen were hyunjin and minho. admittedly, the two of them did often make felix feel a little jealous, but he never wanted to bring it up to them. he was just happy that they were happy.

“hey, you’re felix, right?” a soft voice breaks felix away from his imagination and- oh my god it’s the cute boy from his english literature class. felix gulps, looking into the other boy’s eyes and noticing stars forming. 

“y-yeah. yeah, i’m felix, i-“

“i recognise you from somewhere,” the boy says nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow. “you happen to do english literature by any chance?”

“i do! i think you’re in my class,” felix replies. he knows that his boy is in his class – he doesn’t quite know his name, though.

the boy’s face lights up. “ah! you’re the one that’s best friends with minho and hyunjin, right?” he asks lightly, and felix nods. “that makes sense. i’m closer with jisung and changbin, so we don’t really hang out over there,” he giggles nervously. “anyway, shall we go inside? i don’t really fancy standing outside for the entire date,” he laughs again, motioning for felix to follow him. 

felix just stares at the other boy’s back, wondering what the fuck just happened. did he just call it date? felix thinks, his heart going wild. he needs to calm down, and prepared himself, otherwise he’s going to look like an absolute fool infront of the person he’s been crushing on since the college term started.

the waiter at the end of the queue asks them how many of them there is, and the other boy replies that there are two – he also blushes when the waiter asks an innocent question of ‘are you two boys on a date by any chance?’ – and the person serving them points to a table in the corner as they follow them to where they were sitting. the waiter passes them both a menu, and leaves them be for a few minutes whilst they decide what they want.

“have you ever been here before, lix?” the other boy asks, looking at the menu and scanning it for the items.

“don’t think so,” he replies, shrugging. “the pasta looks nice though.” he says, matter-of-factly. the other boy looks at him, giggling lightly.

“it’s so nice! i always go here with my friends after school, they love it.” he smiles. “oh! i never told you my name,” the boy realises, slapping his forehead lightly with a laugh. “i’m chan.” he tells felix with a soft smile. 

“chan,” felix mumbles, “it’s nice! i like it,” he tells chan, and it makes him smile even more. so much so, that he ends up being flustered and chan hides in his hands, refusing to show felix his beat-ret face. “don’t hide! i bet you look really cute,” felix tells him, not making matters better, and it only results in chan being even redder. felix slowly pulls chan’s hands away from his face and giggles at how red he looks. “i’m right, you’re adorable!”

“noooo.” chan teases, “’m not,” he argues back, hiding himself in his arms even more. felix just sighs, leaning back in his chair. chan regains his postures, clearing his throat as he scans through his options once more. “you’re right, though. the pasta is really good here. i might go for the spaghetti,” he mumbles outloud, more so to himself than to felix, though the latter does hum in response to let chan know that he’s listening. 

just as chan’s about to open his mouth again, the waiter comes over again to take their drink order. chan gets a pepsi whereas felix just gets a water. the waiter scribbles it down quickly, leaving them in comfortable silence yet again.

“so, what made you take literature, lix?” chan asks, looking into the younger boy’s eyes.

“not really sure, to be honest. it’s just something i’ve always liked, yknow? looking at all the hidden little meanings in things. plus, you can’t really be wrong in literature. sure, your analysis of a book might be different to somebody elses, but it’s all subjective! it’s really nice,” he tells chan truthfully, smiling. “it’s always been something i’ve been good at. during high school and whatnot, i always at the top of my class for english – always finding the hidden meanings and reading through the lines and things. a real ego boost, i tell you.” felix says, laughing a little. “it makes me sound like a nerd, but whatever. it’s something i like!” he admits, and chan just smiles.

“no, no, i get it! i’ve always liked it, too. not very good at it, but still, that’s why i took it further! i liked it so much, but my grades weren’t very good to compare. that’s why i want to take it further and hopefully improve that way. surely, if i like something, i need to be good at it, too?”

“not always,” felix shakes his head. “you don’t need to be good at something to like it. think about video games – things like minecraft, or among us. they’re good games, right? but you don’t have to be the best at them to enjoy them. loads of people start playing those games every day. doesn’t mean they can’t like it, right? that’s the same logic for subjects. i was naturally good at maths, but it equally doesn’t mean that i have to like it, right? i hated it, but naturally, i got good grades because i just found it really easy.” felix pauses, looking at chan’s shocked face. “sorry, i rambled a little there,” he rubs the back of his head nervously. 

“no, no, i don’t mind. it’s just the way you worded it. it helped me put it into perspective, really,” chan giggles. “thank you, i feel a little better. it just sucks because i really like it, but my analysis is so bad,” he sighs, noticing that the waiter was nearly there with their drinks.

-

the date ends smoothly, and chan asks felix whether he had somewhere to be afterwards. felix answers that he doesn’t, and that they can do whatever they wanted until either of them got tired or overwhelmed. to this, chan asks whether felix would be comfy in going back to his, to which felix nods and they end up going back to his to watch a bunch of movies.

they get comfy on the couch, and they scroll through the abundance of shows that chan has on his netflix. “oh, haikyuu!” felix calls out, a big bright smile obvious on his face, “i love that one! have you ever seen it, channie? it’s so good! please watch it with me,”

and, well, chan can’t really say no to that, whether he actually wanted to watch it or not. 

the anime starts, and chan puts a shy arm around felix’s waist, pulling him ever so slightly closer. either felix doesn’t notice, or he doesn’t seem to mind. either way, they end up watching anime together, being all cuddled up, and felix doesn’t think that the date could go any better.

“do you have a type, felix?” chan randomly asks at the end of one of the episodes. felix tries to strain his head to look chan in the eyes. when he realises that’s not possible, he just sighs and looks ahead to rest his head.

“not really, i’ve never really had one.”

“huh.” chan replies, his heartbeat increasing slightly.

“why?” felix teases, inter-locking his fingers with chan’s own ontop of the blankets.

chan sighs into the crook of felix’s neck, “just wanted check to see if there was a chance we could be a thing, that’s all.” 

“hm?” felix replies. he heard him loud and clear, but wasn’t sure whether chan was teasing him, or whether he actually had a thing for the younger one.

“i-“ chan mumbles, “i had a really nice time tonight, and i was thinking about how great it’d be for us to be boyfriends, and i-i don’t know, i assumed you felt the same because we really seemed to click tonight, and you really fit my ideal type. i’ve always liked boys with freckles, bright smiles, bright hair, bubbly personalities – and you’re exactly that. you’re literally the blueprint boyfriend i made up in my head.” chan says, giggling at himself. “okay, no, that sounds lame. not like that, but you know what i’m trying to say. you’re incredible, lix, and that’s something you want, i want to see you again. preferably as boyfriends, but i also respect your boundaries and i don’t want to make you uncomfy,” chan admits, and the silence takes over the bedroom as they both just lie there in each other’s arms, wondering when the other will speak up. “lix…?” chan asks worriedly, as the other boy hadn’t said anything yet.

“yes.”

a pause.

“yes?”

“yes.”

“w-what do you mean by ‘yes’, i said lots just then.”

“if i kiss you, will you shut up?” felix asks, and chan swears he never nodded faster, his heart beating quicker than he ever imagined it could beat as felix changed their positions to kiss him, placing a hand under chan’s chin to lift his head up to make it more comfy for both of them. “yes, stupid. i want to be your boyfriend,” felix replies, rolling his eyes when they pull away. “i’ve had a crush on you since the class started this year,” he admits, sighing. “i don’t have a type, but if i did, it’d just be you.”

“just me?” chan teases him back, raising an eyebrow. “that’s the only condition for someone to date you? be me?”

“yeah, because i’ve only really had a crush on you. you’re that incredible,” he replies, kissing him again, and chan just smiles into the kiss, mentally reminding himself to thank minho for setting them up together.


End file.
